The Destinations Are Unheard Of

My Autobiographical Prose

 

Now that I think about it
I have only driven by
But never visited my birthplace
The hospital is gone too
Life is a series of memories
Surrounded by family members
And friends you pick up
Like a hitchhiker on
Life’s highways

Been to Disney world twice
Once when I had the chicken pox
I guess I wanted to infect the world as a
Small school boy
I love the outdoors
I have part of a mountain
A rock in my garden from Crazy Horse
I’ve always loved Halloween
And the autumn season
Scary movies thrill me to death

 

I have a sister
She’s four years younger than I
Flew to Washington D.C. when I was in Junior High

School trip

I remember homeless people,

I saw them closely
Who sleep under subways and sewers
I wanted to help but I had to stay with the group
The memorial wall

and a lady crying
I stood in front of the White House
Behind cold black steel rails

Me on the far left in D.C.

Took a seven hour bus ride to Fort Leonard Wood

In Missouri

Unforgettable

Grueling boot camp experience

Freshman from a military high school
I’ve been to the Big Apple several times
What an amazing place!
Busiest city I’ve ever been to
And the Lincoln tunnel was a real treat
I’ve met a lot of strangers
Some became friends
I got reacquainted with my best friend from
Childhood
I hadn’t seen him in about 14 years
It was right around the time my mother
Got very sick and close to death.
She’s better now.
I love rock and roll music
Saved every ticket stub from all the concerts
I’ve been to.
Wouldn’t it be great to be a rock critic
For a magazine and people actually liked what I had to say?
Two friends drove to Hannibal, Missouri
Back in 1997

We explored Mark Twain’s caves

and hiked through the Ozarks
We decided to pass on the train ride
I’ve ridden on so many trains
From zoos to parks to Metra rails
To old-fashioned late 1800 models
To cable cars to the dreaded L in Chicago
So many interesting people riding those late at night
One time my car got broken into
My stereo was stolen.
I was in 2 car collisions
Within one week
Both times I was not at fault
Made a lot of money and
Bought a new stereo

Been to Long Island many times
My mother’s family lives there
I remember block parties in Brooklyn
Backyard BBQ’s at Grandpa’s
Going to Port Jefferson for lunch
Climbing the lighthouse stairs at Montauk Point
One time I lost a pair of prescription sunglasses
In the ocean.
“Won’t see those again!” someone said
I wish I could record everything I’ve done so far
One time another friend and I brought a tape recorder into
A Baker’s Square Restaurant and for nearly 90 minutes
We recorded everything we said and did
And even wrote a screenplay
I went to Marmion Military Academy for high school
Yes we marched and shot rifles
There was discipline
And it was a great experience
I met Bobby Love and Danny Aing
They’re professional basketball players
My favorite trip was one my dad and I went on together,
We drove to the Black Hills in South Dakota
In a town called Wall, lies the badlands
I remember Iron Butterfly’s “ Inagoddadivida” was playing when we
approached this waste land
Of volcanic destruction
And we drove to Wyoming to witness Devil’s Tower
That’s were they filmed the finale of
Close Encounters of the Third Kind

Devil’s Tower

I love movies
I wrote my first short story in 92’
It was entitled ”Wake Up Joe!”
I placed first out of my entire high school
There was a contest
And they displayed my work in our art museum

 

I’ve experienced summer love
And took long drives with the family
I’ve slept in a field under the stars with rain pouring down on me

Went on a canoe trip during the 6^th grade

While in Boy Scouts

Minnesota has beautiful lakes

Canoed 50 miles in five days

Through portages and fast moving currents

But we made it

Went cliff diving

Saw a great lunar eclipse
That’s how I became an eagle scout

Scouts in 1988 era

I drove my friends’ uncles boat one time
Caught a carp with my bare hands
Then his uncle beat it to death with a stick
We didn’t eat it.
I’ve thrown eggs at houses
And played truth or dare

 

Beaches

Amusement parks

Weird roadside attractions

Old diners

Museums

And many bike trips

All

“on the road”
I only left the country……..once
It was to Cancun for our honeymoon

Did I mention that I am married?

Ten years together

And we have a little boy

He keeps us young

 

I’m 44 now
Officially off the calendar and over the hill

A lot left to experience, however
I am a Gemini with random thoughts
Still longing to go
Scuba diving in the coral reef someday

To stand in front of the Grand Canyon

Trying to catch a fresh breath

From sheer beauty

Or even go backpacking in Europe

What a fantastic adventure that could be
But for now
I’ll see what’s in store

Because the destinations

Are unheard of

 

Escaping The Cave of Seizures With Faith

The Simple Days

Many of you know me. My name is Chris Noe.  I’m a Christian, a husband to Denielle, a father of a little boy named Jacob. But what you may not know is that I have been told I am a miracle. Nearly ten years ago, my life took an unexpected twist that I was unprepared for. Only through the Grace of God have I been allowed to stand here today and talk about it. 

In 2010 my life was on a path that I had planned. Little did I know that God had a different plan for me. At the time, I was engaged to Denielle, was writing theater reviews for a small newspaper and I had just enrolled in college courses to pursue Elementary education. I even finished my semester with straight A’s. Life was going great. But something was wrong.

I was having weird sensations, giving blank stares, memory lapses and other unexplained symptoms that was troubling me for several months. A voice spoke to me, as it happened a few other critical times in my life and said, “Chris if you don’t go to a doctor right now something terrible will happen.” I firmly believe this was the voice of God pointing me on the path we needed to take.

Because we were planning our wedding in October, I knew this was something so serious that overrode the wedding plans we were making. So together with my fiancé, who was already worried about my symptoms, we made a new plan to see a doctor. God sent me a woman who was not only Christian and had the same beliefs as me, but she was also a woman who stood by my side. The two of us rode the path of the unknown and uncertainty together. We put our trust and faith in our Lord that helped us on the upcoming journey. 

Through my first appointment we discovered that I was suffering seizures and needed more tests to find out the cause. The moment happened when the doctor’s office called me to come in because the test results had to be explained in person. I was in a panic knowing that the news was not good if they needed to see me to tell me the results. Swallowing tears that came from the fear of the unknown, we walked into the office together to hear the news. 

Sense of humor before the surgery

 

The doctor calmly explained that the root cause of my seizures was from a cavernous malformation in the left temporal lobe which was bleeding into my brain. The doctor further explained that it is a lesion that resembles a small raspberry that triggers partial seizures, headaches and disrupts cognitive skills that if left untreated, could kill me. Brain surgery was inevitable.

I would be lying if I said that I had complete faith in God’s plan. There were several moments I stood sobbing in the shower so my fiancé wouldn’t see or hear me as I questioned God. Why was this happening now? Why do I have to suffer? Will my life end before I have a chance to build a life together with the woman I love?” While God’s voice was silent, He was answering me in other ways that I could not hear at the time.

God’s plan included more advanced tests with an exceptional team of doctors that would perform my surgery. My doctors reassured me that surgery would be relatively simple, with at least a month of recovery to regain my strength before I could resume the life I was leading. 

So, on July 22nd of 2010, I had the surgery with my fiancé and family at my side. I was told the surgery lasted several hours and I came through without any complications. When I woke up, I was in and out of reality and was hooked up to machines in places that I was mortified to discover. I smiled when I saw my sister and fiancé in the room with me. My memory of this time is like flash bulbs and had some unpleasant side-effects from the surgery. I apparently was speaking backwards and was not answering common questions.  Like, who was the president,? and What’s my name? Those kinds of questions. Denielle was worried. The doctors said it was due to the swelling of the brain. Eventually after a few days, I was talking normal and could answer the questions better and was released to go home and recover. 

Afterwards, my family was there to support me. God was there to support me. While I was out of work for almost 40 days, I received multiple visits and calls. I was even put to work by my fiancé to mail out wedding invitations since I was on the road to recovery.

Through it all, I kept reminding myself to this very day that I was blessed with a miracle. I hold it close to my heart because I never want to forget God’s blessings! The reason I am alive today is because of God, no question in my mind. I had the greatest neurosurgeon the world had to offer, and I am grateful because he completely removed my cavernoma with the aid of state-of-the-art technology. At the time, some of the nurses even said how amazing it was that I came through the entire experience unscathed.

October 16th 2010

Had I not listened to God speaking to me that fateful morning, my outcome would not have been so great. It is hard for us Christians to hand everything over to God. (pause) We must trust in him. This is the true definition of faith. Believing that everything will turn out alright even if our fears leads us astray.

Because my brain has gone through so much, I struggle with words at times and my short-term memory has weakened over the years. I had a neuropsychology test about a year past the surgery and the doctor compared my situation to a library staff being fired and then being replaced by young fresh librarians learning how to file and shelve everything. My mind had to find different pathways to communicate and understand knowledge; it has been challenging at times. I have had to lead my life differently because of the surgery and I must constantly remind myself that I am HERE because of GOD and it is a blessing.

The whole experience then and now made me look at myself from a whole different perspective and I think it changed me totally. I didn’t know then what God had planned for me, but I was given a powerful lesson to trust that God knows what he is doing. God doesn’t make mistakes. 

My life was at stake and yet I beat the odds and I have overcome this ordeal. I still got married six weeks after I had recovered and had the most amazing wedding celebration. Over time we were blessed with our son Jacob. Being a new daddy has provided me with confidence that God is always by my side and never lets me down. Before Jacob came along, our faith was tested again when we lost two babies. In those moments of grief, we were reminded of our time in 2010 that God has a plan even if we don’t understand why. Seeing our beautiful son now we know he is truly a gift from God. All of us are tested with our belief in God from time to time. Believing in him and keeping our faith in God keeps us close together.

Chris, Jacob and Denielle

I knew then at that time I had to hand things over to him because I truly believed in him. That is when it is the most difficult challenge each of us has with our faith. Having to get through such heartache and devastation while remaining true to our Lord. Opening my heart and mind to God’s greatness and not questioning it, is the most challenging part of ourselves when it comes to our beliefs. All things are not perfect, great or simply just happy or sad. Persevering comes from that test because we are all his children. He loves us and takes care of us even in the times where we are most defeated. I am happier now with Jacob and my wife Denielle then I ever have been because of God and his plan. Trust in His plan and set aside your own, for that is truly the path to happiness.

Thank you for listening to my story and God Bless.

My Favorite Things About #Autumn #Fall

 

As My Thoughts Come To Me

It’s my favorite time of year. Cool mornings and gentle warm afternoons. It’s that harvest time to gather and celebrate our crops. Pumpkins are clearly a favorite feast of mine. I grew up enjoying the leaves falling and raking them up. Then jumping into a pile of them. I enjoy the smell of burning leaves. Campfires and roasting marshmallows. Making s’mores. Wearing hooded sweatshirts and even watching football games. We get ready for Halloween and Thanksgiving as well. The dry leaves crunching under my feet.

It is such a joy to watch the leaves change their colors. Tasting all things pumpkin flavored. Driving out to Michigan every year to visit my dad and go apple picking while taking a Fall color tour along the lake front up near Traverse City. Planting mums and pansies and admiring their beauty. Tasting apple cider donuts with a delicious hot cup of coffee, which tastes better in the Autumn for some reason.

Snuggling under warm blankets. Wearing my skull caps. Baking more treats. More crockpot and casserole meals. My favorite TV shows air again in the Fall. So many things to list.

October is my favorite month for many reasons. I look forward to it every year. I was married in October. We are celebrating our sixth anniversary soon. But I really love Autumn so much. The smell of cherry wood burning in a fireplace. My father’s birthday is in October as well as my best friend David and my sister-in-law April.

My favorite holiday of the year is full of ghosts and goblins. Things that go bump in the night. There are decorations everywhere. Neighbor’s turn their front yards into creepy cemeteries. New scary movies to watch. I love monster movies or anything terrifying can make a great popcorn flick!

Dressing up for Halloween is exciting. Pretending to be someone or something else is truly fun and can only be experienced when the moon is full and the fall time arrives. What will I dress up as this year? You’ll have to wait and see. Candy corn is yummy! Waiting in line to go through haunted houses and corn mazes. Telling ghost stories by candle light. Apple butter, fresh bread and homemade chili.

Enjoy all of the music, parties and all of that good stuff happening this time of year!

 

 

The Most Beautiful Things I Have Ever Seen #love #nature #music

The ocean for the first time

Pink Floyd at Soldier Field in the summer of 1994 (Pigs, Mirror Ball and the Rain)

The day I met my future wife at a train station on a cloudy rainy day

The Badlands of South Dakota

Children laughing at playgrounds

Gazing up at the stars

My little poodle named Shadow (1989-2004)

The lower dells near Starved Rock State Park

Sights along my first Route 66 trip

The balcony in Cancun of our hotel room (honeymoon)

Looking at the Caribbean Sea and hearing the waves rollin and out

First time I saw the movie The Matrix on the big screen

Once there was a guest priest at my childhood church who sang songs from the Lion King and gave a really powerful sermon

One summer, at work in the gardens, I saw several Hummingbird moths

When I was home recovering from surgery, My Aunt Rhonda had these chocolate dipped pineapples delivered to me

Pumpkin custard

Seeing Katy Perry live at the United Center in 2014

Witnessing the White Sox win the World Series in 2005

Finally getting to see a brand new episode of Star Wars on the big screen (that actually brought tears of joy to my eyes) 2015

 

 

My Favorite Nintendo Game

If I was stranded on a desert island (with electricity) and had to choose 1 video game to save from the original NES system, it would be Contra. Why? I played it more than any other game. The only other 2 that came close where Mike Tyson’s Punch out and Super Mario Bros. 3

Contra gives you the infamous cheaters’ code: up up down down left right left right B A start

Lots of cool action as well! I played it a lot when I was 12 and 13 years old. This would be amazing if I acquired the original NES System again and that game. That would make me happy! 🙂

 

Remembering Grandma Jean Noe (1923-2016)

Dear Grandma Noe, So now you are gone. But yet I take comfort in right now. Nothing can ever take away my fond memories of you and I together. When I sleep, I dream of you and grandpa. My heart is beating still. God bless those trees and birds from heaven’s light above. I wake to sing to the birds, go where I am reminded of you. Nothing can ever shake my will. We all must learn to face our fears. In our hour of darkness; shaking cold and searching for warmth while my heart tries to beat still. But we are born ready to die. But certainly I will try to let no one shake my will to live. In you grandma, I found a love in something beautiful. I grew my strength in places unknown. So now you must go to dance with grandpa up above. I will remember you always. Love your grandson, Chris

#Memory #1996 #English #Paper about Cape Fear

  

I wrote this in the Spring of 1996 at the community college I was attending at the time. I found it in my closet and felt like sharing it: 

  
  
I always welcome comments…

My Tribute #loss #despair #beauty #hope #child

LIVE – LIGHTNING CRASHES (The Lyrics)

“Lightning crashes a new mother cries
Her placenta falls to the floor
The angel opens her eyes
The confusion sets in
Before the doctor can even close the door

Lightning crashes an old mother dies
Her intentions fall to the floor
The angel closes her eyes
The confusion that was hers
Belongs now to the baby down the hall

Oh now feel it, comin’ back again
Like a rollin’, thunder chasing the wind
Forces pullin’ from
The center of the earth again
I can feel it.

Lightning crashes a new mother cries
This moment she’s been waiting for
The angel opens her eyes
Pale blue colored iris
Presents the circle
And puts the glory out to hide, hide

Oh now feel it, comin’ back again
Like a rollin’, thunder chasing the wind
Forces pullin’ from
The center of the earth again
I can feel it.

Oh now feel it, comin’ back again
Like a rollin’, thunder chasing the wind
Forces pullin’ from
The center of the earth again
I can feel it.

Oh now feel it, comin’ back again
Like a rollin’, thunder chasing the wind
Forces pullin’ from
The center of the earth again
I can feel it.”

This song keeps going through my head….over and over and over again

 

We can’t always be happy but we can appreciate the beauty of gray….

I am sad. I am holding back tears. Someone I know just passed away due to complications during childbirth. I read the news today at work and my heart stopped because I am good friends with this girl’s sisters. Her name was Alla and now she is with God. But I’m so happy that she left behind her a beautiful baby that I’m sure Lisa and Anna as well as the rest of her family will be surely embracing with open arms. May she rest in peace……

 

A #pastiche #blizzard of #1999

I was 23 in 1999.

I was working for a company called Servicemaster and still lived at home.

My dad and I drove to the Black Hills of South Dakota. It was a wonderful Father/Son roadtrip.

I was taking night classes on computers and html web designing at the time.

My friend, Matt Chivari, and I spoke for the last time. Not sure why but that was that.

I met a woman named Denise at a comedy theatre performance. She was funny and talented. My best friend Tony was directing a spoof of the Glass Menagerie and I spotted this Denise and asked to have a drink with her. She and I spoke for a couple of hours and she inspired me to stick with art. She recommended a movie, My Dinner With Andre. I told her how much I like the Pet Sounds record. She said someday I will write my pet sounds. She gave me a business card but i lost it.

Also…there was a blizzard that year!

Memories…..ahhhhh

New moon…gone Starman

 

Delivered from the earth’s gravity pull

above this world he watches over us

venturing on to new territories

in the dark of night

here he was

no more

delight in all the treasures left behind

beyond space time continuum’s dark star

our musical hero has gone away

where did all of this time escape glam rock?

i am now learning more about myself

every moment on this planet matters

even on Mars