returns to sweet innocence
seconds before dawn
returns to sweet innocence
seconds before dawn
The ocean for the first time
Pink Floyd at Soldier Field in the summer of 1994 (Pigs, Mirror Ball and the Rain)
The day I met my future wife at a train station on a cloudy rainy day
The Badlands of South Dakota
Children laughing at playgrounds
Gazing up at the stars
My little poodle named Shadow (1989-2004)
The lower dells near Starved Rock State Park
Sights along my first Route 66 trip
The balcony in Cancun of our hotel room (honeymoon)
Looking at the Caribbean Sea and hearing the waves rollin and out
First time I saw the movie The Matrix on the big screen
Once there was a guest priest at my childhood church who sang songs from the Lion King and gave a really powerful sermon
One summer, at work in the gardens, I saw several Hummingbird moths
When I was home recovering from surgery, My Aunt Rhonda had these chocolate dipped pineapples delivered to me
Seeing Katy Perry live at the United Center in 2014
Witnessing the White Sox win the World Series in 2005
Finally getting to see a brand new episode of Star Wars on the big screen (that actually brought tears of joy to my eyes) 2015
Daily meditation practice
Taking care of my feet
Spending time making good coffee
Enduring challenging exercises and seeing results in the mirror
Forgiving others and myself
Letting go of friendships that no longer serve me
Taking vitamins and eating healthy
Color in my adult coloring book
Play the guitar more (take lessons)
Save money and travel somewhere new
Laugh at my mistakes
Smile more daily
Observe nature more (the sky, the stars, birds singing and the majestic trees)
Spend time alone without any computers, phones and even music
Go for a walk
Talk to myself in the mirror (daily affirmations)
Read some poetry
Write a love letter to myself and mail it
Go to bed early
-we ALL need to be kind to ourselves
Dear Grandma Noe, So now you are gone. But yet I take comfort in right now. Nothing can ever take away my fond memories of you and I together. When I sleep, I dream of you and grandpa. My heart is beating still. God bless those trees and birds from heaven’s light above. I wake to sing to the birds, go where I am reminded of you. Nothing can ever shake my will. We all must learn to face our fears. In our hour of darkness; shaking cold and searching for warmth while my heart tries to beat still. But we are born ready to die. But certainly I will try to let no one shake my will to live. In you grandma, I found a love in something beautiful. I grew my strength in places unknown. So now you must go to dance with grandpa up above. I will remember you always. Love your grandson, Chris
Some things about me… I recently answered a series of questions from another blogger. Here are some highlights……
I work in the mail room at a horticultural company for my day job. I am also a blogger and writer. A music appreciator, a concertgoer and an all-around nice guy. I am a socializer too.
I love my wife and three wonderful nieces. I love my family and many coworkers I consider friends.
I don’t think I have enough money but I don’t need a lot more. I take advantage of discounts and Groupons when necessary. I try to live a frugal and thrifty life when possible. I live within my means.
Yes I am healthy. Sure I tend to eat junk food like pizza and chocolate sometimes and too much coffee but for the most part I do work out and am mindful of what I do daily. It’s all about mindfulness.
I believe I am a good person because I treat people the way I wish to be treated. I have received feedback from my wife and friends that I am good so it’s got to be real.
So I’m 39 going on 40 yet I do feel like a teenager still.
My best friend is Denielle, my wife. I can’t imagine my life without her.
My dream has always been to travel all over the world, take pictures and meet people.
I do laugh every day, sometimes more than others but I tend to make other people laugh more so. That’s something to think about.
A lot of things make me smile. I get amusing thoughts in my head which eventually lead to laughter. But I do tend to smile first. I mostly smile when I meet and greet people because smiles are contagious.
Someone who I am trying to avoid right now? This person is very overwhelming and controlling. I always have to look over my shoulder and watch what I say when confronting this person.
I live just outside of Chicago Illinois.
The word “strong” is tricky because I think I’m physically strong or at least strong enough to do what I need to do to survive. But I don’t think I am the kind of person who has a strong conviction. I have a hard time admitting to failure and owning up to my mistakes.
Moving out of my moms house was an important decision in my life. My independence was long overdue and luckily I met my future wife and she gave me a reason to do so. I often think about what would’ve happened if I never left home or met my wife that things could’ve ended up disastrous.
The stupidest thing I ever did was smoke pot in my car with a friend and get arrested and put in jail. Then my dad bailed me out. Oops. That was 17 years ago. Otherwise I feel a close second place was when I dropped out of college recently because I used my brain surgery as an excuse to stop going.
I think I like myself and at times I can love some things that I do. But I really don’t look in the mirror and say to myself “boy I love you.”
My biggest fear is being alone with nobody or the ones I love suffer from Alzheimer’s and there’s nothing I can do for them.
Currently my favorite expression is Hee Haw
I cried the other day I don’t remember why but I cry more than the usual guy.
If we inherited a small sum of money I can pay off all of our major debts that are not reoccurring payments then I feel like we can save up for bigger and better things and take more vacations.
Worse thing that could happen right now? Lose my wife lose my job lose the house.
More random facts:
Music is one of my many passions….i just love music!
I have a tendency to crack my knuckles.
I met my wife (Denielle) over 8 years ago through eharmony…….and i am very happy i did so! i love her very much!
I am a roller coaster enthusiast!
I am obsessed with facts about musicians, actors, directors, and strange historical figures like who the worst novelist that ever lived is.
I hope to improve my living financially and find freelance opportunities writing for something.
I enjoy going to concerts. i’ve been to so many. my first one was a pink floyd concert with my dad at soldier field. that day solidified my father’s coolness.
traveling is another passion of mine: been all around America except west. i hope to travel to California someday. however south dakota was perhaps the most fascinating trip i’ve been on
i tend to not capitalize the letter”i”
i graduated from marmion military academy.
i love my mother and sister…they are two of the most wonderful women in the world who have always given very sound advice.
i drink coffee with sugar and cream and i drink tazo hot tea
i collect comic books, cd’s, dvd’s, and vinyl records!
my favorite artist is salvador dali
i took dancing lessons several times and danced the waltz at our wedding and i was on television on new years eve 2008 at williowbrook ballroom
i taught confirmation classes at church (8th and 9th graders can be a real handful) ahhhh! but it was worth it!
i workout to yoga and pilates 3-4 times a week (namaste)
i was an expert shooter with an m-16 rifle
my favorite video game is Mortal Kombat
i rode my bike 100 miles last summer in dekalb, illinois to support MS
i have read my poetry in public in parks and at bars and gave a speech at my hometown library
“i am the lizard king…. i can do anything”….my favorite quote (jim morrison)
I survived brain surgery and got married in the same year
that’s all for now
Sitting here on my couch drinking bourbon
Yesterday’s snow melts on old brick rooftops
The sound of train whistles is so urban
Our world is too busy to even stop
I respect the lonely people outside
Heads are spun in motion sickness space clouds
Ear buds and smart phones are places to hide
Accomplishments in life we are real proud
Suburban winter life in Chicago
Kickball games and trash picking in the streets
It won’t be long until the flowers grow
Dance through the lush green grass in our bare feet
Shelter exists within my sleepy dreams
Protecting my soul from the midnight screams
No one has to understand me except for me…..yet I don’t accept myself for who I am
like I once did.
I have undergone brain surgery and ever since then my mind has a hard time accepting reality
and I get frustrated when my words don’t come out right
I assume other people don’t understand me
but I will prevail as long as I stay true to myself
and don’t let what other people say bother me
if I could just stop dwelling on the past and blaming other people
for my mistakes
then I can be a more well-adjusted individual.
I once met with a psychotherapist about a year after my surgery
and they told me to imagine this
“you just had a series of librarians that were terminated and a new set of librarians came into your mental library and had to try to make sense out of where you are filing things and you may have once had a well organized system that was going on and now it is a little more scrambled up and you have a young fresh set of librarians trying to make sense of what was once there and furthermore you could have a set of kids that have attention problems trying to do what was once there.”
But I truly know that people care about me
my friends my family my coworkers
so I don’t make false claims that nobody understands me
in the end it really just comes down to a simple thing
Chris Noe needs to accept himself and understand himself
that his life is good
his life does make sense
the things that he is doing is normal
but that I need to understand that my mind may not always be fully engaged
like it used to be
my mind is in a constant state of being distracted
that I can jump from topic to topic
that I might be happy one minute and sad the next
that I may be all jokester dude at work
and then come home and slouch on the couch
and just want to go to sleep and then
the next thing you know I want to spend time with my nieces
or play guitar hero.
I am a unique person
and the fragments might be remaining from a time prior to my brain surgery
and my wedding
that only shortly occurred after that
but when the day is through
I can wake up another day and know that my adventures
will keep on trucking
thank you for listening
now carry on with your life’s