Posted in poetry

Daily Haiku

invisible eye

returns to sweet innocence

seconds before dawn

 

huggy

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Posted in happy, Memories

The Most Beautiful Things I Have Ever Seen #love #nature #music

The ocean for the first time

Pink Floyd at Soldier Field in the summer of 1994 (Pigs, Mirror Ball and the Rain)

The day I met my future wife at a train station on a cloudy rainy day

The Badlands of South Dakota

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Children laughing at playgrounds

Gazing up at the stars

My little poodle named Shadow (1989-2004)

The lower dells near Starved Rock State Park

Sights along my first Route 66 trip

The balcony in Cancun of our hotel room (honeymoon)

Looking at the Caribbean Sea and hearing the waves rollin and out

First time I saw the movie The Matrix on the big screen

Once there was a guest priest at my childhood church who sang songs from the Lion King and gave a really powerful sermon

One summer, at work in the gardens, I saw several Hummingbird moths

When I was home recovering from surgery, My Aunt Rhonda had these chocolate dipped pineapples delivered to me

Pumpkin custard

Seeing Katy Perry live at the United Center in 2014

Witnessing the White Sox win the World Series in 2005

Finally getting to see a brand new episode of Star Wars on the big screen (that actually brought tears of joy to my eyes) 2015

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Posted in Therapy

The Ways I Can Love Myself More

A LIST

 

Daily meditation practice

Taking care of my feet

Spending time making good coffee

Enduring challenging exercises and seeing results in the mirror

Forgiving others and myself

Letting go of friendships that no longer serve me

Taking vitamins and eating healthy

Color in my adult coloring book

Play the guitar more (take lessons)

Save money and travel somewhere new

Laugh at my mistakes

Smile more daily

Observe nature more (the sky, the stars, birds singing and the majestic trees)

Spend time alone without any computers, phones and even music

Go for a walk

Talk to myself in the mirror (daily affirmations)

Compliment myself

Read some poetry

Write a love letter to myself and mail it

Go to bed early

 

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-we ALL need to be kind to ourselves

Posted in Memories

Remembering Grandma Jean Noe (1923-2016)

Dear Grandma Noe, So now you are gone. But yet I take comfort in right now. Nothing can ever take away my fond memories of you and I together. When I sleep, I dream of you and grandpa. My heart is beating still. God bless those trees and birds from heaven’s light above. I wake to sing to the birds, go where I am reminded of you. Nothing can ever shake my will. We all must learn to face our fears. In our hour of darkness; shaking cold and searching for warmth while my heart tries to beat still. But we are born ready to die. But certainly I will try to let no one shake my will to live. In you grandma, I found a love in something beautiful. I grew my strength in places unknown. So now you must go to dance with grandpa up above. I will remember you always. Love your grandson, Chris

Posted in Memories

Getting to know me (why not?)

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Some things about me… I recently answered a series of questions from another blogger. Here are some highlights……

I work in the mail room at a horticultural company for my day job. I am also a blogger and writer. A music appreciator, a concertgoer and an all-around nice guy. I am a socializer too.

I love my wife and three wonderful nieces. I love my family and many coworkers I consider friends.

I don’t think I have enough money but I don’t need a lot more. I take advantage of discounts and Groupons when necessary. I try to live a frugal and thrifty life when possible.  I live within my means.

Yes I am healthy. Sure I tend to eat junk food like pizza and chocolate sometimes and too much coffee but for the most part I do work out and am mindful of what I do daily. It’s all about mindfulness.

I believe I am a good person because I treat people the way I wish to be treated. I have received feedback from my wife and friends that I am good so it’s got to be real.

So I’m 39 going on 40 yet I do feel like a teenager still.

My best friend is Denielle, my wife. I can’t imagine my life without her.

My dream has always been to travel all over the world, take pictures and meet people.

I do laugh every day, sometimes more than others but I tend to make other people laugh more so. That’s something to think about.

A lot of things make me smile. I get amusing thoughts in my head which eventually lead to laughter. But I do tend to smile first. I mostly smile when I meet and greet people because smiles are contagious.

Someone who I am trying to avoid right now? This person is very overwhelming and controlling. I always have to look over my shoulder and watch what I say when confronting this person.

I live just outside of Chicago Illinois.

The word “strong” is tricky because I think I’m physically strong or at least strong enough to do what I need to do to survive. But I don’t think I am the kind of person who has a strong conviction. I have a hard time admitting to failure and owning up to my mistakes.

Moving out of my moms house was an important decision in my life.  My independence was long overdue and luckily I met my future wife and she gave me a reason to do so. I often think about what would’ve happened if I never left home or met my wife that things could’ve ended up disastrous.

The stupidest thing I ever did was smoke pot in my car with a friend and get arrested and put in jail. Then my dad bailed me out. Oops. That was 17 years ago. Otherwise I feel a close second place was when I dropped out of college recently because I used my brain surgery as an excuse to stop going.

I think I like myself and at times I can love some things that I do. But I really don’t look in the mirror and say to myself “boy I love you.”

My biggest fear is being alone with nobody or the ones I love suffer from Alzheimer’s  and there’s nothing I can do for them.

Currently my favorite expression is Hee Haw

I cried the other day I don’t remember why but I cry more than the usual guy.

If we inherited a small sum of money I can pay off all of our major debts that are not reoccurring payments then I feel like we can save up for bigger and better things and take more vacations.

Worse thing that could happen right now? Lose my wife lose my job lose the house.

More random facts:

I am a published writer.

Music is one of my many passions….i just love music!

I have a tendency to crack my knuckles.

I met my wife (Denielle) over 8 years ago through eharmony…….and i am very happy i did so! i love her very much!

I am a roller coaster enthusiast!

I am obsessed with facts about musicians, actors, directors, and strange historical figures like who the worst novelist that ever lived is.

I hope to improve my living financially and find freelance opportunities writing for something.

I enjoy going to concerts. i’ve been to so many. my first one was a pink floyd concert with my dad at soldier field. that day solidified my father’s coolness.

traveling is another passion of mine: been all around America except west. i hope to travel to California someday. however south dakota was perhaps the most fascinating trip i’ve been on

i tend to not capitalize the letter”i”

i graduated from marmion military academy.

i love my mother and sister…they are two of the most wonderful women in the world who have always given very sound advice.

i drink coffee with sugar and cream and i drink tazo hot tea

i collect comic books, cd’s, dvd’s, and vinyl records!

my favorite artist is salvador dali

i took dancing lessons several times and danced the waltz at our wedding and i was on television on new years eve 2008 at williowbrook ballroom

i taught confirmation classes at church (8th and 9th graders can be a real handful) ahhhh! but it was worth it!

i workout to yoga and pilates 3-4 times a week (namaste)

i was an expert shooter with an m-16 rifle

my favorite video game is Mortal Kombat

i rode my bike 100 miles last summer in dekalb, illinois to support MS

i have read my poetry in public in parks and at bars and gave a speech at my hometown library

“i am the lizard king…. i can do anything”….my favorite quote (jim morrison)

I survived brain surgery and got married in the same year

that’s all for now

Posted in poetry, Therapy

Sonnet of Escape by Chris Noe

Sitting here on my couch drinking bourbon

Yesterday’s snow melts on old brick rooftops

The sound of train whistles is so urban

Our world is too busy to even stop

I respect the lonely people outside

Heads are spun in motion sickness space clouds

Ear buds and smart phones are places to hide

Accomplishments in life we are real proud

Suburban winter life in Chicago

Kickball games and trash picking in the streets

It won’t be long until the flowers grow

Dance through the lush green grass in our bare feet

Shelter exists within my sleepy dreams

Protecting my soul from the midnight screams

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Posted in poetry, Therapy

embrace the mind

No one has to understand me except for me…..yet I don’t accept myself for who I am

like I once did.

I have undergone brain surgery and ever since then my mind has a hard time accepting reality

and I get frustrated when my words don’t come out right

I assume other people don’t understand me

but I will prevail as long as I stay true to myself

and don’t let what other people say bother me

if I could just stop dwelling on the past and blaming other people

for my mistakes

then I can be a more well-adjusted individual.

I once met with a psychotherapist about a year after my surgery

and they told me to imagine this

“you just had a series of librarians that were terminated and a new set of librarians came into your mental library and had to try to make sense out of where you are filing things and you may have once had a well organized system that was going on and now it is a little more scrambled up and you have a young fresh set of librarians trying to make sense of what was once there and furthermore you could have a set of kids that have attention problems trying to do what was once there.”

But I truly know that people care about me

my friends my family my coworkers

so I don’t make false claims that nobody understands me

in the end it really just comes down to a simple thing

Chris Noe needs to accept himself and understand himself

that his life is good

his life does make sense

the things that he is doing is normal

but that I need to understand that my mind may not always be fully engaged

like it used to be

my mind is in a constant state of being distracted

that I can jump from topic to topic

that I might be happy one minute and sad the next

that I may be all jokester dude at work

and then come home and slouch on the couch

and just want to go to sleep and then

the next thing you know I want to spend time with my nieces

or play guitar hero.

I am a unique person

and the fragments might be remaining from a time prior to my brain surgery

and my wedding

that only shortly occurred after that

but when the day is through

I can wake up another day and know that my adventures

will keep on trucking

thank you for listening

now carry on with your life’s

Love Chris
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Posted in poetry, Therapy

The Careless Days

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to run through the grass
chasing a frog
watching the cardinals feed
upside down hanging from a tree
playing records all night long
staying up late watching movies
blowing bubbles in the wind
sitting on a chair outside
watching the cars go by
jumping in the swimming pool

mom giving me a dollar to
buy an ice cream cone
from the ding ding man
staring up at the clouds
sleeping in the backyard
on the trampoline
then my sister and I go bouncing
until its time for dinner
saturday morning cartoons
MTV videos

basketball on the driveway

“college nights
drinking coffee
smoking cigarettes
eating pie”

holding hands on the riverwalk
campfire stories
roasting marshmallows
roadtrips on a sunny afternoon
TAG you’re IT!!!

boat rides on the lake
biking through the trails
the smell of a candy store
bubble baths
long games of monopoly
wind blowing through the tree tops
that sound of a gentle sway
days of the carnivals
caurosels and cotton candy
roller coaster rides
and tickle fights

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those were the careless days

My priorities exist and belong in the REAL social world!!!!!

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I am a social kind of guy who wears Converse. And conversations over coffee and pie at a diner with a friend (or friends) puts me in a relaxed state of mind. When I shop around at a record store I talk to a guy named Steve; or as I call him, Sunday Steve. He works behind the counter and likes to talk about music. So do I. Normally I talk about music at my other blog: http://www.themusicbard.wordpress.com

I have the kind of job where I interact with people everyday. On the phone, via internet and believe it or not, IN PERSON!!! Wow! What a concept! Actually communicating with human beings in the flesh.

We’re not robots or computer data after all! Hooray! We are mammals and I am one of the social beings that exist out there.

I enjoy my job.

Helping other people. Solving problems. Answering questions. Listening to someone’s problems.

Just being there….helps

No I am not a psychologist or a social worker or a mentor or a teacher or a counselor. But I did go to college and I did get a degree in Sociology. However, the paths of my career choices led me to warehouses, office spaces, computers, copy machines, marketing distribution forms, mail machines, post offices, banks, train stations and conversations with the receptionists in the office.

A human resources representative once told me that I am “the corner stone of this company.” She said I was “creative, unique and original.”

I seem to apply my “social skills” to all of my environments.

I provide a social service everyday……making others laugh and listening to them cry too.

Recently I suspended my facebook account because it was finally getting to be too much for me to handle. Too much insanity! Too much drama! I need my own place to get out my feelings.

My happiness comes from connecting with other people in the real world. Lunch dates. Going out to the movies. Taking a jog through the neighborhood and saying hello to other people as I pass them on the street. Conversations are AWESOME! Humanity is a blessing. Empathy and sympathy does exist. We are all connected.

Sometimes you just have to press the reset button and disconnect and remember what you’re supposed to be doing.

Charity begins at home and my neighborhood.

I have much to be thankful for. Where am I lacking? Where have things become more important than Family or friends? This is a time to pray, give to others and give up so that I can become empty and get filled with a life of faith, hope and love.

What’s the biggest time waster and love defeater? facebook, for me.  I’m gonna try to turn it off for a while. I know it sounds tough. But I will blog as much as I want and spend more time with my new book dedicated to road trips. I am more than 75% done.  The goal for me is to take control of my family (Denielle, Smokey “the little canary upstairs” and I) back from some of the technology that is slowly robbing our lives of intimacy and closeness. I’m not preaching to my friends and family. I chose this for myself to do for however long it takes. I only ask that you respect my choice.

Part of the fun of this is that it is part of our shared sacrifices, language and love that reminds us that we belong to something so much bigger than just us and our own wants and desires. I have many obsessions and bad habits. More happy blog posts will re-focus my priorities and life goals to better my health. Peace out family and friends. This time, I will do it. Call or email me if you wanna talk.

https://noeshappyplace.wordpress.com/contact/

 

Love,

Chris

This is my babble for today.

If you want to FOLLOW me then click off to the right were it says (FOLLOW)

Posted in Uncategorized

Hugs are MAGICAL

huggy

 

I love hugs. I feel connected to this world when someone gives me a hug. A warm embrace of genuine friendship makes me happy. Doesn’t matter if I give the hug or somebody else hugs me first. I no longer feel alone in this world when this occurs. It is therapy for sad & grumpy days. Suddenly I feel safe, like everything is gonna be alright. Hugging someone builds trust and boosts my ego and I am in a good mood. Its relaxing and I am loaded with confidence. Give a hug today. I guarantee you’ll feel better.