The Destinations Are Unheard Of

My Autobiographical Prose

 

Now that I think about it
I have only driven by
But never visited my birthplace
The hospital is gone too
Life is a series of memories
Surrounded by family members
And friends you pick up
Like a hitchhiker on
Life’s highways

Been to Disney world twice
Once when I had the chicken pox
I guess I wanted to infect the world as a
Small school boy
I love the outdoors
I have part of a mountain
A rock in my garden from Crazy Horse
I’ve always loved Halloween
And the autumn season
Scary movies thrill me to death

 

I have a sister
She’s four years younger than I
Flew to Washington D.C. when I was in Junior High

School trip

I remember homeless people,

I saw them closely
Who sleep under subways and sewers
I wanted to help but I had to stay with the group
The memorial wall

and a lady crying
I stood in front of the White House
Behind cold black steel rails

Me on the far left in D.C.

Took a seven hour bus ride to Fort Leonard Wood

In Missouri

Unforgettable

Grueling boot camp experience

Freshman from a military high school
I’ve been to the Big Apple several times
What an amazing place!
Busiest city I’ve ever been to
And the Lincoln tunnel was a real treat
I’ve met a lot of strangers
Some became friends
I got reacquainted with my best friend from
Childhood
I hadn’t seen him in about 14 years
It was right around the time my mother
Got very sick and close to death.
She’s better now.
I love rock and roll music
Saved every ticket stub from all the concerts
I’ve been to.
Wouldn’t it be great to be a rock critic
For a magazine and people actually liked what I had to say?
Two friends drove to Hannibal, Missouri
Back in 1997

We explored Mark Twain’s caves

and hiked through the Ozarks
We decided to pass on the train ride
I’ve ridden on so many trains
From zoos to parks to Metra rails
To old-fashioned late 1800 models
To cable cars to the dreaded L in Chicago
So many interesting people riding those late at night
One time my car got broken into
My stereo was stolen.
I was in 2 car collisions
Within one week
Both times I was not at fault
Made a lot of money and
Bought a new stereo

Been to Long Island many times
My mother’s family lives there
I remember block parties in Brooklyn
Backyard BBQ’s at Grandpa’s
Going to Port Jefferson for lunch
Climbing the lighthouse stairs at Montauk Point
One time I lost a pair of prescription sunglasses
In the ocean.
“Won’t see those again!” someone said
I wish I could record everything I’ve done so far
One time another friend and I brought a tape recorder into
A Baker’s Square Restaurant and for nearly 90 minutes
We recorded everything we said and did
And even wrote a screenplay
I went to Marmion Military Academy for high school
Yes we marched and shot rifles
There was discipline
And it was a great experience
I met Bobby Love and Danny Aing
They’re professional basketball players
My favorite trip was one my dad and I went on together,
We drove to the Black Hills in South Dakota
In a town called Wall, lies the badlands
I remember Iron Butterfly’s “ Inagoddadivida” was playing when we
approached this waste land
Of volcanic destruction
And we drove to Wyoming to witness Devil’s Tower
That’s were they filmed the finale of
Close Encounters of the Third Kind

Devil’s Tower

I love movies
I wrote my first short story in 92’
It was entitled ”Wake Up Joe!”
I placed first out of my entire high school
There was a contest
And they displayed my work in our art museum

 

I’ve experienced summer love
And took long drives with the family
I’ve slept in a field under the stars with rain pouring down on me

Went on a canoe trip during the 6^th grade

While in Boy Scouts

Minnesota has beautiful lakes

Canoed 50 miles in five days

Through portages and fast moving currents

But we made it

Went cliff diving

Saw a great lunar eclipse
That’s how I became an eagle scout

Scouts in 1988 era

I drove my friends’ uncles boat one time
Caught a carp with my bare hands
Then his uncle beat it to death with a stick
We didn’t eat it.
I’ve thrown eggs at houses
And played truth or dare

 

Beaches

Amusement parks

Weird roadside attractions

Old diners

Museums

And many bike trips

All

“on the road”
I only left the country……..once
It was to Cancun for our honeymoon

Did I mention that I am married?

Ten years together

And we have a little boy

He keeps us young

 

I’m 44 now
Officially off the calendar and over the hill

A lot left to experience, however
I am a Gemini with random thoughts
Still longing to go
Scuba diving in the coral reef someday

To stand in front of the Grand Canyon

Trying to catch a fresh breath

From sheer beauty

Or even go backpacking in Europe

What a fantastic adventure that could be
But for now
I’ll see what’s in store

Because the destinations

Are unheard of

 

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Escaping The Cave of Seizures With Faith

The Simple Days

Many of you know me. My name is Chris Noe.  I’m a Christian, a husband to Denielle, a father of a little boy named Jacob. But what you may not know is that I have been told I am a miracle. Nearly ten years ago, my life took an unexpected twist that I was unprepared for. Only through the Grace of God have I been allowed to stand here today and talk about it. 

In 2010 my life was on a path that I had planned. Little did I know that God had a different plan for me. At the time, I was engaged to Denielle, was writing theater reviews for a small newspaper and I had just enrolled in college courses to pursue Elementary education. I even finished my semester with straight A’s. Life was going great. But something was wrong.

I was having weird sensations, giving blank stares, memory lapses and other unexplained symptoms that was troubling me for several months. A voice spoke to me, as it happened a few other critical times in my life and said, “Chris if you don’t go to a doctor right now something terrible will happen.” I firmly believe this was the voice of God pointing me on the path we needed to take.

Because we were planning our wedding in October, I knew this was something so serious that overrode the wedding plans we were making. So together with my fiancé, who was already worried about my symptoms, we made a new plan to see a doctor. God sent me a woman who was not only Christian and had the same beliefs as me, but she was also a woman who stood by my side. The two of us rode the path of the unknown and uncertainty together. We put our trust and faith in our Lord that helped us on the upcoming journey. 

Through my first appointment we discovered that I was suffering seizures and needed more tests to find out the cause. The moment happened when the doctor’s office called me to come in because the test results had to be explained in person. I was in a panic knowing that the news was not good if they needed to see me to tell me the results. Swallowing tears that came from the fear of the unknown, we walked into the office together to hear the news. 

Sense of humor before the surgery

 

The doctor calmly explained that the root cause of my seizures was from a cavernous malformation in the left temporal lobe which was bleeding into my brain. The doctor further explained that it is a lesion that resembles a small raspberry that triggers partial seizures, headaches and disrupts cognitive skills that if left untreated, could kill me. Brain surgery was inevitable.

I would be lying if I said that I had complete faith in God’s plan. There were several moments I stood sobbing in the shower so my fiancé wouldn’t see or hear me as I questioned God. Why was this happening now? Why do I have to suffer? Will my life end before I have a chance to build a life together with the woman I love?” While God’s voice was silent, He was answering me in other ways that I could not hear at the time.

God’s plan included more advanced tests with an exceptional team of doctors that would perform my surgery. My doctors reassured me that surgery would be relatively simple, with at least a month of recovery to regain my strength before I could resume the life I was leading. 

So, on July 22nd of 2010, I had the surgery with my fiancé and family at my side. I was told the surgery lasted several hours and I came through without any complications. When I woke up, I was in and out of reality and was hooked up to machines in places that I was mortified to discover. I smiled when I saw my sister and fiancé in the room with me. My memory of this time is like flash bulbs and had some unpleasant side-effects from the surgery. I apparently was speaking backwards and was not answering common questions.  Like, who was the president,? and What’s my name? Those kinds of questions. Denielle was worried. The doctors said it was due to the swelling of the brain. Eventually after a few days, I was talking normal and could answer the questions better and was released to go home and recover. 

Afterwards, my family was there to support me. God was there to support me. While I was out of work for almost 40 days, I received multiple visits and calls. I was even put to work by my fiancé to mail out wedding invitations since I was on the road to recovery.

Through it all, I kept reminding myself to this very day that I was blessed with a miracle. I hold it close to my heart because I never want to forget God’s blessings! The reason I am alive today is because of God, no question in my mind. I had the greatest neurosurgeon the world had to offer, and I am grateful because he completely removed my cavernoma with the aid of state-of-the-art technology. At the time, some of the nurses even said how amazing it was that I came through the entire experience unscathed.

October 16th 2010

Had I not listened to God speaking to me that fateful morning, my outcome would not have been so great. It is hard for us Christians to hand everything over to God. (pause) We must trust in him. This is the true definition of faith. Believing that everything will turn out alright even if our fears leads us astray.

Because my brain has gone through so much, I struggle with words at times and my short-term memory has weakened over the years. I had a neuropsychology test about a year past the surgery and the doctor compared my situation to a library staff being fired and then being replaced by young fresh librarians learning how to file and shelve everything. My mind had to find different pathways to communicate and understand knowledge; it has been challenging at times. I have had to lead my life differently because of the surgery and I must constantly remind myself that I am HERE because of GOD and it is a blessing.

The whole experience then and now made me look at myself from a whole different perspective and I think it changed me totally. I didn’t know then what God had planned for me, but I was given a powerful lesson to trust that God knows what he is doing. God doesn’t make mistakes. 

My life was at stake and yet I beat the odds and I have overcome this ordeal. I still got married six weeks after I had recovered and had the most amazing wedding celebration. Over time we were blessed with our son Jacob. Being a new daddy has provided me with confidence that God is always by my side and never lets me down. Before Jacob came along, our faith was tested again when we lost two babies. In those moments of grief, we were reminded of our time in 2010 that God has a plan even if we don’t understand why. Seeing our beautiful son now we know he is truly a gift from God. All of us are tested with our belief in God from time to time. Believing in him and keeping our faith in God keeps us close together.

Chris, Jacob and Denielle

I knew then at that time I had to hand things over to him because I truly believed in him. That is when it is the most difficult challenge each of us has with our faith. Having to get through such heartache and devastation while remaining true to our Lord. Opening my heart and mind to God’s greatness and not questioning it, is the most challenging part of ourselves when it comes to our beliefs. All things are not perfect, great or simply just happy or sad. Persevering comes from that test because we are all his children. He loves us and takes care of us even in the times where we are most defeated. I am happier now with Jacob and my wife Denielle then I ever have been because of God and his plan. Trust in His plan and set aside your own, for that is truly the path to happiness.

Thank you for listening to my story and God Bless.

A poem by me without a title

FEEL FREE TO GIVE THIS ONE A TITLE

Daily Haiku

beneath the tree house

a black face is howling

through blue moonlight skin

DAILY HAIKU

Sleeping winter child

listens to a morning song

while his mouth whispers

What Happened This Year?

Hey there? How’s it going? I haven’t talked to you in a long time. What’s it been? Almost a year? A lot has happened since then. So here I go rambling again:

2017 was awesome in the film scene! Lot’s of anniversaries! It was the 30th anniversary of these films: Predator, Lethal Weapon, The Lost Boys, Fatal Attraction, The Princess Bride, Robocop, Full Metal Jacket, Good Morning Vietnam, Spaceballs, Less Than Zero, Evil Dead II, A Nightmare On Elm Street 3 (My favorite), The Monster Squad and The Running Man! Boy 1987 was a great year!

It’s also the 40th anniversary for these 1977 films: A little film called STAR WARS, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Saturday Night Fever and Suspiria.

However, in the music world, we have many albums that have reached the milestone of 50 YEARS!!! Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band by The Beatles, The Piper At The Gates of Dawn by Pink Floyd, The Velvet Underground’s first album, Surrealistic Pillow by Jefferson Airplane, Disreali Gears by Cream, Days of Future Passed by The Moody Blues, and The Who Sell Out!!!

I participated in many FitBit challenges getting plenty of exercise and losing weight.I’ve had a great “workout” week! I crushed some personal records of mine. Not only did I “step” the most in 7 days but I finally won the weekend warrior challenge! #fitbit

So I have been listening to this cool podcast lately. It’s called 80’s All Over. They dissect all of the films from the 1980’s. Month by month/year by year. They just finished season 1 where they only covered January 1980 thru December 1980. Lots of cool insights!!! Check it out! Plus I have getting much more heavily involved in the horror movie community with podcasts and news groups.

 

So, I’m a little tardy to the party but I friggin LOVE the Bates Motel series on A&E/Netflix! WOW! It’s so well written, the episodes are compelling, the casting was chosen wisely and there’s so much depth to the stories. I’m totally hooked (and I have only seen 2 episodes so far) Finally, something fresh to satisfy my “horror” taste buds!!

It was over 10 years ago that my wife and I met and started dating. Just a little something to cherish.

My wife and I had three baby showers thrown for us. Lots of presents for our baby boy. Mostly clothes but a lot of items for the nursery. It’s been an exciting time leading up to the delivery date (October 30th). But when Jacob Jean Noe came to us on Halloween, it was an amazing experience that was like living on a different plain of existence. I was amazed. We were stunned how beautiful a baby boy can be. Our little miracle man.

Words can’t possibly express how Denielle and I feel right now. I’m a writer and am loss for words. 7th heaven? Cloud 9? Beyond anything I ever could of comprehended. It’s a surreal and euphoric feeling. Almost a state of permanent shock and disbelief. Yet we do all of the things good parents do instinctively. I can’t believe we are parents and have this amazing little boy named Jacob to take care of now. God is great! Miracles happen. Prayers work. Dreams do come true. My heart just doubled in size. Love for my wife has expanded and is now shared with this beautiful boy.

 

Believe it or not…two weeks ago I was almost killed in a severe car crash! As this year comes to an end, I just wanted to share my story before it seems like “old news” simply because my life was spared and everything seems hunky dory. I was driving east on route 64. Just passed Chucks BBQ. A car heading south on Meredith did not fully stop and entered into intersection and into my lane. There was not enough time to avoid impact. Our vehicles struck each other. Damage sustained driver front side of my vehicle. Airbags deployed blocking field of vision. Bystanders came to vehicle to offer assistance. I called 911 to report accident. Police arrived and took my information down. Paramedics arrived and checked my vitals. Then I was taken to hospital by ambulance. My car was totaled and it really had a tremendous impact on our lives over the past 2 weeks. It was very scary and serious. As you can see the car was a wreck and completely totaled but I am OK. My wrist was bruised and I had aches and pains in my neck and back and have since seen my doctor. Just wanted to let you know. But mostly what’s important is that I am OK and it could’ve been much much worse. Not to mention my wife’s battles with pneumonia and the effects that my post partum depression has had on me. Otherwise, I am extremely grateful to be alive. God gave me another chance. He knew I had unfinished business with the family. So not only have I survived brain surgery but I walked away from a car wreck. I AM UNBREAKABLE!!!

 

I am not a private person as many of you may already know that. With that said, here is a piece of advice that my therapist gave me the other day: “When you hit bottom in your life and are suffering deeply, that is the time to be strong. Don’t give up; instead, look at yourself and say, “enough is enough. I won’t get caught in this pattern again. Today is the day it ends.” Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche

 

Daily Haiku

 

Waiting to explode

moment of continuum

I just want to sleep

Daily Haiku

Sorry. I took a break for a bit. We had a baby shower and things got busy. Life happens. Right? Anyways, I bring you today’s haiku:

 

 

between sound is youth

forever a cool highway

happy universe

Daily Haiku

relaxed on a bench

letting go of traffic noise

drinking cool water

Daily Haiku

insects sing their songs above

shady plans swayed by the wind

the lawn has shadows