The Destinations Are Unheard Of

My Autobiographical Prose

 

Now that I think about it
I have only driven by
But never visited my birthplace
The hospital is gone too
Life is a series of memories
Surrounded by family members
And friends you pick up
Like a hitchhiker on
Life’s highways

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Been to Disney world twice
Once when I had the chicken pox
I guess I wanted to infect the world as a
Small school boy
I love the outdoors
I have part of a mountain
A rock in my garden from Crazy Horse
I’ve always loved Halloween
And the autumn season
Scary movies thrill me to death

 

I have a sister
She’s four years younger than I
Flew to Washington D.C. when I was in Junior High

School trip

I remember homeless people,

I saw them closely
Who sleep under subways and sewers
I wanted to help but I had to stay with the group
The memorial wall

and a lady crying
I stood in front of the White House
Behind cold black steel rails

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Me on the far left in D.C.

Took a seven hour bus ride to Fort Leonard Wood

In Missouri

Unforgettable

Grueling boot camp experience

Freshman from a military high school
I’ve been to the Big Apple several times
What an amazing place!
Busiest city I’ve ever been to
And the Lincoln tunnel was a real treat
I’ve met a lot of strangers
Some became friends
I got reacquainted with my best friend from
Childhood
I hadn’t seen him in about 14 years
It was right around the time my mother
Got very sick and close to death.
She’s better now.
I love rock and roll music
Saved every ticket stub from all the concerts
I’ve been to.
Wouldn’t it be great to be a rock critic
For a magazine and people actually liked what I had to say?
Two friends drove to Hannibal, Missouri
Back in 1997

We explored Mark Twain’s caves

and hiked through the Ozarks
We decided to pass on the train ride
I’ve ridden on so many trains
From zoos to parks to Metra rails
To old-fashioned late 1800 models
To cable cars to the dreaded L in Chicago
So many interesting people riding those late at night
One time my car got broken into
My stereo was stolen.
I was in 2 car collisions
Within one week
Both times I was not at fault
Made a lot of money and
Bought a new stereo

HAPPY

Been to Long Island many times
My mother’s family lives there
I remember block parties in Brooklyn
Backyard BBQ’s at Grandpa’s
Going to Port Jefferson for lunch
Climbing the lighthouse stairs at Montauk Point
One time I lost a pair of prescription sunglasses
In the ocean.
“Won’t see those again!” someone said
I wish I could record everything I’ve done so far
One time another friend and I brought a tape recorder into
A Baker’s Square Restaurant and for nearly 90 minutes
We recorded everything we said and did
And even wrote a screenplay
I went to Marmion Military Academy for high school
Yes we marched and shot rifles
There was discipline
And it was a great experience
I met Bobby Love and Danny Aing
They’re professional basketball players
My favorite trip was one my dad and I went on together,
We drove to the Black Hills in South Dakota
In a town called Wall, lies the badlands
I remember Iron Butterfly’s “ Inagoddadivida” was playing when we
approached this waste land
Of volcanic destruction
And we drove to Wyoming to witness Devil’s Tower
That’s were they filmed the finale of
Close Encounters of the Third Kind

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Devil’s Tower

I love movies
I wrote my first short story in 92’
It was entitled ”Wake Up Joe!”
I placed first out of my entire high school
There was a contest
And they displayed my work in our art museum

 

I’ve experienced summer love
And took long drives with the family
I’ve slept in a field under the stars with rain pouring down on me

Went on a canoe trip during the 6th grade

While in Boy Scouts

Minnesota has beautiful lakes

Canoed 50 miles in five days

Through portages and fast moving currents

But we made it

Went cliff diving

Saw a great lunar eclipse
That’s how I became an eagle scout

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Scouts in 1988 era

I drove my friends’ uncles boat one time
Caught a carp with my bare hands
Then his uncle beat it to death with a stick
We didn’t eat it.
I’ve thrown eggs at houses
And played truth or dare

 

Beaches

Amusement parks

Weird roadside attractions

Old diners

Museums

And many bike trips

All

“on the road”
I only left the country……..once
It was to Cancun for our honeymoon

Did I mention that I am married?

Ten years together

And we have a little boy

He keeps us young

 

I’m 44 now
Officially off the calendar and over the hill

A lot left to experience, however
I am a Gemini with random thoughts
Still longing to go
Scuba diving in the coral reef someday

To stand in front of the Grand Canyon

Trying to catch a fresh breath

From sheer beauty

Or even go backpacking in Europe

What a fantastic adventure that could be
But for now
I’ll see what’s in store

Because the destinations

Are unheard of

 

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Flashback to 1995

This isn’t necessarily a “happy” poem but it makes me “happy” that after 20 years, I still have this poem.

It exposes the truth of how I felt then and how it echoes how I have been feeling lately……

famous (May 1995)

can’t even write

don’t know what to say

there is no light

to make me feel okay

uncomfortable in my shoes

punishing my feet

put them to use

just to look neat

knuckles i crack

to help me think

i arch my back

and try not to blink

sitting and staring

looking around me

emotional bearings

trying to escape me

music without

i am bored

entering of doubts

cannot afford

i am distant

apart from friends

this very instant

too much blends

my head explodes

whenever i am lonely

the memories implode

crying…only

wish i were famous

never have to worry

time makes us

life is a hurry

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Why Poetry?

It always brings me back to my youth
Tasting an apple for the very first time
Smelling the fresh air of the summer wind
As your friend gives you an underdog on the swing set at recess
I loved those days, it always felt like summer
The first ride in the car going down to Florida
For summer vacation
Capturing memories and dreams on paper
Why poetry? Because it has everything that real life
lacks. Absolute freedom like you couldn’t imagine
A child is poetry
Because poetry is open-minded and confused
My poetry is confused by me sometimes
Both children and poems are vulnerable

Sadness and joy
Laughter and anger
Greed and envy

Unlimited feelings and emotions become adjectives
In poetry
Thoughts stray constantly
Without boundaries
There’s too much structure
In America sometimes
Not enough innocence
Why poetry? Everyone has something to say
Our souls must roam free.
Throughout human history as our relatives
Have had to face the shocking and alarming fact
That we have no clue who we are
Or where
We are going
In this maze called life!
The people of “power”
The ones in command?
You know?
The religious
The political
The educational establishment?
They have tried to sooth us
By giving us order, rules, and a set of laws
Instructing us and shaping our minds
To accept their view of reality
What about my view of reality?
That is “why poetry” for me
I still want to hug a bag full of sweets
And run around wild chasing fireflies
Once again I return to my youth
Helping my dad out in the garage
Or baseball games with the neighborhood kids
At the lot across the street
I take steps forwards
And sleepwalk backwards
To the small days of early life
Why poetry? I want to think for myself
I question authority
and the rules it provides
Poetry is not structure
We must keep talking
And let loose the power of our mind’s eye
Put ourselves into a state of open-mindedness
Allow room for chaos and confusion
Weren’t things better when we were young and confused?
I want to live dangerously
And yet remain calm, clear and observant
I’m no fool, I see what goes on all around me
So I write because its how I feel
That is “why poetry” for me.

 

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